i finally came to meet her. name’s "SWEET". my dad’s girlfriend. well, she’s ok. she’s not pretty unlike my mom. she’s not bad…she’s not ugly though, but she’s fine. im not against her neither their relationship. infact i’m so thankful that atleast she would be a very big help for dad in order to move on a good life. i’m thankful that there would be someone who could take good care of my daddy, love him, cook for him, make his breakfast, lunch and dinner. i’m so thankful that he came to love again. on the other hand, i hate how i feel. i dunno why. maybe its because i’m not used to see that dad’s making lambing to a new girl instead of my mom which they always used to do when they’re both together not so long time ago. ok! here: when i met my mom’s new man i also felt this way. undescribable. mixed. sumhow happy but nevertheless fine. i tried to be kind to his man. and now its the same thing that im doin for my dad’s woman. im trying to be nice to her after all i know this would just be for short while. how in the world could i have some peace of mind? its been 4 years that my mom and dad separated. 4 YEARS!!! is that so long ago??? we’re talking about family not just any boyfriend girlfriend relationship had broken. please tell me exactly how can u say JUST BE HAPPY FOR THEM? yes i can do that. would this be all about both of them? how about me and my sister? were they thinkin how we both feel? are they thinkin of what had happen to us? they were only thinkin of their own happiness. what about us? are they thinking of ours? i dunno really. lots and lots of questions unanswered. words said but they never listened. i just want some peace of mind. im not hoping and wishing for them to get back together. im not hoping that we could get back together in one roof. it’s impossible! totally impossible! and it can never happen even in my dreams.i have already gone lots of adjustments and acceptance. lots of feeling unheard but i just let go of that certain feeling. i feel emotionally messed up! all im asking is that we may never be a family in one roof but sumhow atleast a family one at heart. i miss my family so much. very much. and to you all guys who might be reading this blog. take every chance to show ur family so much love. coz mine’s gone. i just pray for some peace of mind and Lord, please enlighten my mom and dad’s mind. i really mis my family. how the hell can i show how i feel when they’re all not near?
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July 15th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
7 Responses to “MESSED UP!”
Asked if you know what is “BRAIN,” and you would suddenly say, “I know it.” But when you’re asked to define, you suddenly stop and say, “what is it, really?”
Oor lives is defined not by words, and can never be defined by any word available in the dictionary. Only experiences can define our lives. and that makes us a unique individual person. “I AM ONE.”
Your story might have been duplicated in the experiences of others. But the mere fact that you are an individual, unique and distinct from any other posits that you own, and not anybody else one unique story and experience. Such is an extension of the total definition of your LIFE.
I admire every people’s story..especially those who have the abilility, and the guts to pour their heart out. Such is courage to highest level: to be able to confront the self and (especially sad) experiences.
Treasure your experience..and always try to go beyond, transcend those experiences..How to do that? Remember! you own such a unique experience because you are a unique indivial person. You are unique ans special, most especially in the eyes of GOD. So if you own your experiences, you are always over them..you are superior over them…you own them.. and you reserve all the rights to master and transcend all your experiences.
Okay! Some experiences are not very good. And they leave scars in our heart…but if only we could ask GOD to comment about scars..probably He would say…”SCARRED PEOPLE ARE BEAUTIFUL!”
July 15, 2006 @ 7:24 pmI really do not what to say friend. i know if only I can do something to feel you better now and onwards I would truly will. But even me, you left me unanswered questions as to how to comfort you in this trying times you are into now. I wouldn’t be saying I sympathize you nor emphatize you either because i was never there. I was’nt there. The least that I can do now is truly to pray for you and hopefully, sooner or later, you will find serenity and peace within yourself. Life is tough with you friend but certainly, as I was saying, everything happens for a reason. My utmost hope is that with all the things you have been experiencing with your family, you will take it as challenge for you to make your life a better one. With all the lessons and experiences you got, i do believe in the end, this will be your very weapon to surmount all the odds and impossiblities that life may bring to you. Just keep your faith gurl… Keep your faith! I am with you in this trying times of yours now. I really do. Blessed be. (*hug*)
July 15, 2006 @ 10:44 pmi may never had exprience it but i truly understand how it feels. i have a friend here whose parent are divorce several years ago. she pretend to be happy whenever we hangout, but i know deep inside she feels like so isolated and lack of attention. there are times she’s very emotional. so i hope you’ll feel better. this kind of situation makes you strong and independent.
July 16, 2006 @ 11:34 amthanks nelson. love u. thanks for being there whenever i needed someone to talk to. miss u.
July 16, 2006 @ 4:30 pmhi art! thanks so much for all the advices and sharings. thanks so much for being a friend. =)
July 16, 2006 @ 8:37 pmiv bin a part of ur fam for a yr or a couple of yrs…iv seen hw sweet ur parents were…bt lyf is dynamic, it is constantly changing…U jst hav to thank God for every lil thing He’s doin cs He knws wats best…there’s a lot of pipol hu luvs u & that is such a great blessing!
July 23, 2006 @ 5:24 pmhope to see all of u very soon!
lav u! mwh mwh!
ching! u have been and will always be a part of our family. that will never change. i just offer everything to out Lord. He knows what’s best, youre right. see you the soonest. miss u.
July 24, 2006 @ 1:32 am