***4 Jobs i would stink at…

1. Salesperson - i dont have selling skills, i just buy what i want… i tend to be obssesive compulsive, and when people say they won’t buy, i can’t force them. it’s like when you don’t want it then dont!

2. Engineer -  i’m not good at math so deinitely i just can’t.

3. Lawyer - i hate politics, i hate studying the thickest books in the world… it just doesn’t interests me.

4. Public Speaker - hell no! i can’t speak in a large group of people. i tend to get stoned, stiff and statued. maybe i just don’t have the confidence… ;p 

*** 4 Nicknames other people made up for me…

1. Nene - my lolo Jerry always calls me this. my granny paternal side.

2. Anita - my lolo Antonio, the ever first one who call me this. my granny maternal side. (both of them already passed away but i will always carry with me the names they used to call me. i love you lolo both so much.)

3. Jeray - most of my closest friends in high school made up this name for me.

4. Tisay - well, WWIDE friends used to call me this… said that i was white… haha.

*** 4 movies i can watch over and over again…

1. Awakenings - Robert De Niro (i still cry everytime i watch this for a hundred times.)

2. Fantastic 4 - Chris Evans, super gwapo & Jessica Alba, hot!

3. Eight Below - Paul Walker… and i super love dogs… but then again i cry.

4. Mistress of Spices - Aishwarya Rai, nice story and pretty bollywood star.

*** 4 things i love to do on weekends…

1. go to the movies with my Joren. or if at home - dvd marathon certainly.

2. Cook. i always cook. i even cook during weekdays.

3. Bumming out with friends, chill on a comfy place & chit-chat all day.

4. Attend 5:15pm mass at Huaming. i try as regular as i can.

*** 4 alcoholic drinks i enjoy…

1. Frozen Margarita (any flavor except bubble gum)

2. Vodka Cruiser (melon & blueberry)

3. Bailey’s

4. Screwdriver

*** 4 fantastic vacation destinations i would love to go before i die…

1. Carribbean Islands

2. Paris

3. China

4.  USA

*** 4 celebrities i would definitely, certainly go on a BIG DATE…

1. Nicolas Cage

2. Mario Batali

3. Brandon Routh

4. Anne Hathaway

*** 4 things i could not live without…

1. cellphone

2. whatever kinds of lipbalm to moisture my lips keep it from chapping.

3. toothbrush & toothpaste - definitely i couldn’t live without the 2 of these… i am so gonna die. ;p

4. i couldn’t live without my joren. can’t imagine a life without him.

*** 4 gadgets i wish to have…

let’s just say i’m practical when it comes to material things. i’m really not a techy kind of person but atleast wished, kinda not dying to have these…

1. nintendo wii (i like games…)

2.  flatscreen Desktop PC with that small CPU… ( i still prefer desktop than laptop)

3. music player with a very good speaker with surround, amplifier and sub-woofer whatever you call it… the one which your chest almost get to burst… you might as well appreciate music more when yu have a good player & speaker.

4. PSP - i can carry with me a bunch of songs i like, some videos, pictures, and files and also games as well… i prefer PSP still than ipod, atleast for me.

Note: I would like to acknowledge Debbie Oca. i got this from her blog. Thanks girl… i truly love reading your writings… Inspiring, sometimes funny and yet most likely so fierce. Keep it up.

Don’t keep me dreaming
If all the hope is gone
If it’s all over
Don’t keep me hanging on

I can’t stay
And dream my life away
In some kind of wonderland
Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand

Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Don’t try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

If it’s the time to go
If it’s the last goodbye
Never turn around
Don’t want you to see me cry

Don’t make me stay
And wish my time away
In some fool’s paradise
Don’t give any hope to me
Spin any lines for me
Make the truth plain to see

Make it easy on me
Just walk away, set me free
Don’t try to do it gently
Just to please me
Make it easy, easy on me

Better to hurt me honestly
Than make a fool of me
My heart will understand

BE CAREFUL WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU S/HE LOVES YOU WHEN S/HE DOESN’T EVEN LOVE HIM/HERSELF. THERE’S AN AFRICAN SAYING THAT GOES: NEVER ACCEPT A SHIRT OFFERED BY A NAKED MAN. THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH WHO SUCCUMB TO HATRED AND JEALOUSY WHEN THEY DO NOT ACHIEVE WHAT THEY WANT AND WHO THEY WANT. THEY ARE ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING BEINGS THAT EXIST. MY REFLECTIONS ON THE DEFINITIONS OF JEALOUSY WILL PROVE IT. “Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment.” When you fear being abandoned by someone you THINK you love, you do everything to hold him/her back, even to the point of killing so that s/he will not go to someone else. “In jealousy there is more of self-love than love.” As Joseph Pieper has said, LOVE IS NOT AN ACT OF HAVING. You can never possess a person. If you do so, you are not loving the person but loving YOURSELF because it is for your own happiness that you want to HAVE or to keep the person, and not his/hers. “A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” When someone is so possessive with his/her beloved, restraining him/her and preventing him/her in reaching his/her full potential, s/he is not really loving the person. Possessiveness is A SIGN OF LACK OF CONFIDENCE in yourself because you fear that your beloved will find someone better than you. It is also a SIGN OF NEUROTIC INSECURITY because your mind gets preoccupied with ill thoughts about the beloved. “Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.” Jealousy is borne out of distrust on the other. It is a form of self-flagellation because it is not the other who causes your distrust but you yourself create your misery. “Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy — in fact, they’re almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil…” It is a disease because it eats up your whole person. You cannot think clearly. You do things to harm the other and even yourself. Love, on the other hand, only wishes the happiness of the other even if his/her happiness is NOT WITH YOU. “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” When someone is jealous, it is difficult for the person to keep the pain inside. S/he ends up creating trouble so that others may partake in his/her misery. In the end, s/he adds to his/her burden by creating trouble. As the golden rule says: DON’T DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU DON’T WANT OTHERS TO DO UNTO YOU. “Jealousy would be far less torturous if we understood that love is a passion entirely unrelated to our merits.” When does a person become jealous? WHEN S/HE THINKS THAT HIS/HER LOVE IS NOT RECIPROCATED BY THE OTHER. That is not real love, because real love does not expect to get anything from the other. The act of loving itself brings happiness. Being loved in return will bring more happiness BUT IT IS NOT REQUIRED THAT LOVE BE RECIPROCATED FOR IT TO BE TRUE. “Jealousy is the greatest of all evils, and the one which arouses the least pity in the person who causes it.” I will never pity someone who tells me he loves me but hurts me because he thinks I had hurt him. How can you pity someone who makes your life hell? How can you pity someone who blames everything on you even if EVERYONE KNOWS FOR A FACT that you cannot pass your responsibility to others BECAUSE YOU ARE GIFTED WITH REASON and your actions are not mere instincts? You decide how you act and YOU ALONE, are responsible for your action. “Like hatred, jealousy is forbidden by the laws of life because it is essentially destructive.” Because jealousy is an act of EXTREME self-love, it is always DESTRUCTIVE. Too much of anything is bad. And of course…As Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller said in 1783, Jealousy is the great exaggerator. ~ AS FOR ME, I WAS NEVER JEALOUS (AND WILL NEVER BE). I AM PROTECTIVE OF THE ONES I LOVE BUT I NEVER FELT "THE STING." IT’S BECAUSE, I BELIEVE IN HIM NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS MAY SAY OR HAVE SAID. I TRUST IN HIM BECAUSE I LOVE HIM, AND THERE IS NO LOVE WHEN THERE IS DOUBT.

People say Life is Unfair…Others believed that life is Cruel… I believe that life is a gamble.Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win.You take chances hoping that someday, somehow you can find a way to make it a better one.But no matter how you try sometimes it just keeps you down until you can’t move, you can’t breathe because you’re In over your head.

I don’t know what Life has for me in the future.I know I’m destined to become somebody or at least do something worthy.But like what I said, Life is a gamble; you need to take the necessary risk to attain what you want in Life. You can’t just sit around all day doing nothing.You can’t dream for life to happen.You have to work for it.You have to gamble your chances in order to achieve your goals.

As cruel as it may sound but not everyone can make their Life better.No matter how many risks you take, sometimes Life seems unfair.Chances are slim and future seems bleak. Sometimes I wonder why Life has to be this wayWhy others have more than what they need while some don’t even have the basic necessities in Life.

Ironic as it may sound but I think Life has favoritisms.Like the teacher in your high school or college.Like the boss in your company. I sometimes think that God has favoritism too.I keep on questioning his authority over my Life and yet all along I already know the answer. Life is God’s gift to us.HE is fair to all of his children.He believes in us, he trust us to be responsible for this wonderful gift.He trust us so much that he gave up his Life for us.He believes that we can do everything we desire.He would never give you trials that you can never surpass.I just wish…that he doesn’t trust me so much.

I struggle everyday for my lifeI feel weary.I feel emotionally distraughtI just want to breakdown. But I know deep inside of me that I should never give up.I should never give in to weakness.I should be strong.I should be able to stand up I should. I should make it okay…

Because Life is a game, a gamble of trust, patience, faith and perseverance.It is like a checkerboard or a chess board with many ladders, many stumbles.I should keep the dice rolling.I should never lose hope.Never give up.

Because I have to believe that in due time I will be happy, I will be okay. Like many board games, I will reach the finish line and see what Life has to offer me in this world.Like any contests, I will win and gain respect.I will win a prize but most importantly an eternal glory of finishing the Game of Life

message to some copycats: hey!!!  why the hell did u copy my friendster blog then posted in the bulletin here in myspace?!!! come on my dear friend!! MAKE YOUR OWN!! dont be such a duplicate! ur stealing my property!

i finally came to meet her. name’s "SWEET". my dad’s girlfriend. well, she’s ok. she’s not pretty unlike my mom. she’s not bad…she’s not ugly though, but she’s fine. im not against her neither their relationship. infact i’m so thankful that atleast she would be a very big help for dad in order to move on a good life. i’m thankful that there would be someone who could take good care of my daddy, love him, cook for him, make his breakfast, lunch and dinner. i’m so thankful that he came to love again. on the other hand, i hate how i feel. i dunno why. maybe its because i’m not used to see that dad’s making lambing to a new girl instead of my mom which they always used to do when they’re both together not so long time ago. ok! here: when i met my mom’s new man i also felt this way. undescribable. mixed. sumhow happy but nevertheless fine. i tried to be kind to his man. and now its the same thing that im doin for my dad’s woman. im trying to be nice to her after all i know this would just be for short while. how in the world could i have some peace of mind? its been 4 years that my mom and dad separated. 4 YEARS!!! is that so long ago??? we’re talking about family not just any boyfriend girlfriend relationship had broken. please tell me exactly how can u say JUST BE HAPPY FOR THEM? yes i can do that. would this be all about both of them? how about me and my sister? were they thinkin how we both feel? are they thinkin of what had happen to us? they were only thinkin of their own happiness. what about us? are they thinking of ours? i dunno really. lots and lots of questions unanswered. words said but they never listened. i just want some peace of mind. im not hoping and wishing for them to get back together. im not hoping that we could get back together in one roof. it’s impossible! totally impossible! and it can never happen even in my dreams.i have already gone lots of adjustments and acceptance. lots of feeling unheard but i just let go of that certain feeling. i feel emotionally messed up! all im asking is that we may never be a family in one roof but sumhow atleast a family one at heart. i miss my family so much. very much. and to you all guys who might be reading this blog. take every chance to show ur family so much love. coz mine’s gone. i just pray for some peace of mind and Lord, please enlighten my mom and dad’s mind. i really mis my family. how the hell can i show how i feel when they’re all not near?

ngaa may mga tawo gid ya sa kalibutan nga mga sunud-sunuran noh? tanan nga gusto mo gusto ya man? perfume nga gamit mo gamit ya man! tanan nga namian mo namian ya man? asta sa kind of music namian ya man? every idea may ara ka sundon ya man? ay nanu nalang na ya man? wala nagid iban pa? paminsar man da b iban! ok! ok! people say nga indi ko lang pagi-mind mga amu na nga klase sang tawo! pero indi nagid makalilingaw eh! as in indi nagid sadya! ok im flattered nga someone’s idolizing me. waaaaaaaa!!!! pero wla gid ko nalingaw nga daw halos tanan nalang sundon? is that what u call COPYCAT?! well, blogs ko ni pagusto lang ko anu hambalon ko! d bala? say nyo? indi na bala magpasosyal pa kung kabalo ka indi ka angayan! mas mayo pa na bala kung tuod ka gid nga manggaranon moh sang sa imol nga nagdamu kwarta! kay gagwa gid ang batasan nga pwerte ka lain. u thought forever na na ang kasadyahan nyo? dont be too envy my dear friend! samtang ara pa hala cge pagusto ah! after all atleast man lang nabatyagan mo nga nakatilaw ka sang mga wala mo natilawan eversince! pero ina balang ginatry mo na nga magwork ang friendship niyo but daw indi gid worth ah! as in indi gid ya! that’s why cguro until now wla na sya mga friends who stick with her.baw iha! indi gid paglipati nga u just came from rags lang! ulikdi man ang ginhalinan mo! i hope lang indi na kamo magbalik liwat sa trapo! ay ambut basta wla nagid ko nalingaw sa imo! u might have been reading this post! u know who u are ah noh? if may reaction ka nga daw indi nami te ikaw na! dont try to be somebody that you are not! just be yourself nalang bala! i dont wanna be mean ha pero u really r a BRAINLESS BITCH! after all i know i’m the original one! wahahah! im planning to post her link! pero indi nalang ah. luoy pa man ko sa iya. kaluluoy sang mga tawo nga amu na noh? poor child!

It’s not easy being beautiful but for those who bear the burden, it helps when you are as beautiful inside as out, armed with limitless talent and literally loved around the world.

Don’t you hate it when you gain a few pounds and people feel that it’s their fuckin obligation to point it out to you not just once, twice, thrice but every time you cross paths??!!! I FREAKINLY & HORRIBLY hate it. It pisses me off with undying vengeance. One sun-shiny day, I woke up peacefully, have a cool shower, dressed-up and get ready till my sweetie picks me up to go somewhere…at the mall saw this friend I often see anywhere…

ME: (nodded politely…)
FRIEND: “oh my good Lord!! You’ve gotten so fat!” exaggerating hilariously.
ME: “I know…obviously…”
FRIEND: “Why don’t you do some exercises? A little bending, walking and jogging will do.”
ME: “Put a sock! Don’t you ever get tired of the same old comment?”
FRIEND: “Anyways, Big is beautiful…”

It’s totally annoying when they do it in a dramatic way with voices as loud as sugarcane factory especially in public places and scream with all might and passion in syllables. “NAG-TAM-BOK KA!!”, “TAM-BOK SA-IMO!!”, “GRABE PAG DAKO MO BA!!” etc…Instead of feeling true blue I smartened up and came up with one perfect response politely and professionally…”I’m happy as I am, Thank You!”

Note: To all the people who stupidly can’t stop commenting, here’s something I just wanna let you know; my IQ is high enough to know and see that I did gain weight! If it doesn’t bother me then it shouldn’t be bothering you…so why can’t you just shut your fuckin mouth up?! JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!

life can be so tough…sometimes i feel like giving up…but i must be strong…gotta hold on…i have to keep on going…i hold on to my faith…i once was lost…but now i’m found…got my feet on the solid ground…certainly the Lord will guide me where i need to go…Thank you Lord.